1. |
These Hands Are Red
04:44
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Once a pathetic romantic / now a hopeless pathetic / chords bounce apathy off four walls / loaded gun just shy of last call / keep my brain in the basement / it's soaking wet and tasteless / the poison ink drowns the soil in my gut / my roots are tied and knotted up / there's no sign of a rapture / you won't save me from disaster / the cryptic meanings on text / leave bullet holes up and down my back / burn the giving tree / the only green I see are eyes of envy / they go from blue to red / they should be brown from the shit I'm fed / I won't be saved / I can't be saved / depression's got a way / of sneaking up on me / and pulling the wool / leaving nightmares and visions of you / crimson paints the floor / my mind is weak and my eyes are sore / a loaded gun to the head / a revelation that I'm better off dead /
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2. |
Red Black And June
04:24
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I bleed the choices that I make / to the proverbial grave of grave mistakes / pass the torch, deceasing flame / rise above a disappointed face / crack a smile, dim lit eyes / the ashes will fall, mercury will rise / keep my head under the floor / let the mind rot forever more / spread through the ground and rot away / at every tree that surrounds this place / last night we stood on the roof / collected thoughts of failed pursuits / we can't live like this forever / we breathe a city of wasted sighs / a crash course in ruining lives / we can't feel like this forever / the rain drowns this dying lawn / I'm just a fallen leaf in a muddy pond / as the streets run red from blue / all the way from Tate to 82 / insides exposed and all limbs cut / just the empty trunk of a yellow gut / I swallowed the spider to kill the pain / the babies are born to spread through my veins / they grow and grow and start itching / goddamn there's something I'm missing / I shattered my life into pieces / my life's in pieces /
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3. |
Laundry List
04:22
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A laundry list of sad excuses / your daddy's left you on the fence / fatal attraction blacks and bruises / you're full of plastic sentiment / I'll lock the door, swallow the key / your DNA rapes the crime scene / the scent of booze, the soiled sheets / girl, you better learn how to settle / I'll always be the bigger man / I'll always be the better fuck / you'll never be content again / girl, you better learn how to settle / the more fingers that graze your skin / you'll have to close your eyes just to get wet / his looks might start to settle in / my touch will always claim the rest / your dead eyes might face the sunrise / but your heart will never heal / the love I sold was all a lie / you better learn to love the way they feel / I'll always be the bigger man / I'll always be the better fuck / you'll never be content again / you'll always be empty in / you better learn / and you'll be a regret / if you keep acting like a slut / you'll cry alone in your bed / you'll never have your self respect / you better learn how to settle / you'll always be empty in your heart /
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4. |
Io
04:06
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Open your mouth / chew your words and spit them out / cut the dotted line / make your neck a Colombian artifact / relax your throat / sing it out before you choke / a storm raged through your eyes / and now I see I was just an alibi / and it's been raging with the sound of your stereo / I quit praying 'cause I figured you'd never know / what is this disease? / years spent dodging endless debris / now your feet are plants / but you're still a pendulum of an abhorrent romance / the grief will follow your heart / a painful way for you to spend years apart / a storm raged through your eyes / and now I see I was just an alibi / and it's still raging with the sound of your stereo / and I quit praying 'cause I figured you'd never know / and I was just praying for you to see this whole thing through / and yet your gravity still clutches me / causing friction and turbulent skies / spinning endlessly / causing blustery winds of misery / and I quit praying for you to see this whole thing through / but I guess that's something that you'll never do /
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5. |
The Magnolia Tree
06:00
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Days settled on August nights / clasped hands, clasped so ever tight / as you were looking at me / I realized there was something missing / lives spent unconscious of time / calenders fell and so did the warning signs / that this was one for the books / full of passion and desirable hooks / your lips pressed onto me / that scent from under your Magnolia tree / our bodies danced in your car / while your porch lights flickered off and on and on / there was November rain / and all of Autumn's slow decay / I used my body to shield / yours from the cold draft of the window sill / days and weeks spent apart / in a tour van full of faulty parts / crossing through state lines / just to get back to feel the beat of your heart / the ever glowing lights / forever endless nights / thoughts of brushing limbs / oh baby, can we begin again? / my head is spinning out of orbit / this cadet can hardly fucking stand it / that scent from under your Magnolia tree /
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6. |
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Awake from your sleep / it's been weeks on end, swimming the deep end / a catatonic state / your mind and body feel a similar defeat / your eyes flinch and fold / bearing a cross of an empty soul / a burning bush of thoughts / leaving a rift between you and what you want / everyone is turning on you / they're turning on you / the catastrophic sense / it's the sixth one and you can't spend / the time dragging the lake / because it dried up, now only you remain / left counting the days / 'til the end when you account for your sins / what to make of this / what will we make of this / and so it goes / you're just a ghost with a reflection when you pass by a window / with no chance to feel / until you learn to live up to your end of the fucking deal / your birth signed contract / it was notarized and posted on your back /
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7. |
Landscape And Portrait
05:05
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The landscape or the portrait / which one would you like to be the format? / lend a still shot / to capture your beauty / there's no frame to hold / that smile, you cutie / light glistens in your hair / the sun is your aura / brain and time freeze / the sweet scent / carries the soft breeze / your eyes send meaning / I perceive / mercy me / the landscape or the portrait? /
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8. |
Mama
04:08
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Mama, I'm sorry / but you procreated with my father / and started mixing blood with water / he mixed pills with vodka / planting those godforsaken seeds / of a rotten apple tree / these are engaging shoulders / but the weight is far too much on my back / I'm a parading panic attack / pass the sins of the father / I hope it wasn't my life's mission / to pass that family tradition / they set out to break my back / my spine is bust, insides bankrupt / full collapse, head not intact / to the stars, I will climb / and then collide / I will collide / swallow the pill / swallow the bullet / swallow the poison / and pray to the toilet / they set out to break my back /
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9. |
Last Call
04:59
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Hands shaking, white eyes on white walls / lock the door 'til the doctor calls / a faint look on a countertop / I can't hear anything, I don't hear anything / the nurse lets out an untameable sigh / I feel like I'm gonna die / a safe touch of a magazine / I can't hear anything, I don't hear anything / I hit the floor with the drop of a hat / my mind is lost and I want it back / swallow them down, one by one / I can't hear anything, I don't hear anything / and I don't feel anything anymore / these loose lips are sinking ships / and I don't feel anything anymore / these bleeding ears lead to eyes that tear / my mind is cracked like the small of my back / collect thoughts as I try to retract / the medicine to the cowardly host / I can't feel anything, I don't feel anything / canvas shoes on an ivory floor / I saw a ghost come through the door / the time has come for the heavenly home / I can't feel anything, I don't feel anything / it's last call at the bottom again / a cavalry of unnameable sins / a red face with red eyes to match / it's hard to not fall down /
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10. |
The Storm Was Overlooked
05:23
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We were so naive / to fall with decaying leaves / to believe that we were free / to swim the open sea / to death with our bodies / to vanish with our sleep / you really burned a big bridge / when you decided to jump off of it / washing away with all the fish / maybe your heart finally found a place to live / photographs all across my floor / the memories form to become a touriquet / all you needed was a boat / so you wouldn't have to brave the tide all alone / the captain's been thrown overboard / the crew is lost at sea forevermore / the rope to the anchor has been cut / the wind scurries, the storm was overlooked / the sails will remain at half mast / now we're all alone, we're all alone / there's not gonna be enough time to pass / now we're all alone, we're alone / please make this a dream / or soon it will be me /
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Gavan Holden Greensboro, North Carolina
From the Greensboro bands Basement Life, Corvids and Funny Like A Funeral. Gavan's solo-acoustic project began in May of 2011 and has been tauted as dark, melodic, tender and haunting.
Gavan Holden recommends:
2016 release from Gavan’s band Corvids.
go to album
2018 album from Gavan’s band Basement Life.
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